


Don't Tell Phil!

by fuckphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Drinking, Fluff, M/M, Sexual References, Swearing, drunk!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 11:43:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4520631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckphil/pseuds/fuckphil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan comes home drunk and Phil is less than thrilled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Tell Phil!

“Fuck!” Phil cursed as he game overed for the 15th time that night. He let out a frustrated groan and angrily closed out of the Flappy Bird app before throwing his phone down on the sofa beneath him. It was nearing 3 o’clock in the morning and Phil was incredibly exhausted to say the least. He had been up for hours waiting for his boyfriend, Dan, to return home. He had left several hours earlier with a few friends from university and normally Phil wouldn’t be so concerned ,but It had been hours since he had heard a single word from his boyfriend. No phone call, no text, not even a goddamn tweet.

Dan, though Phil loved him dearly, had a horrid habit of staying out too late and getting incredibly wasted. He didn’t do it too often but whenever he did he would come home so sloshed that he was barely coherent enough to remember his own name which left Phil to stay up to make sure he got to bed okay. He had to make sure he didn’t end up killing himself by falling down the stairs or something stupid like that but also left him to take care of Dan in the morning when he, of course, had a hangover.

Phil was getting sick of it.

It was never fun to take care of an irritable, hungover boyfriend when he had editing to do or other business care of. It was Dan’s own fault for doing this to himself so Phil didn’t understand why he always had to be the one to take care of his mistakes. He was so tired of Dan going out at night doing god knows what with god knows who. He was always so far gone when he got home he wouldn’t be surprised if he became involved with someone else and that thought alone was enough to make Phil want to punch a wall.

Phil was suddenly ripped out of his thoughts when he heard the sound of a door opening and slamming shut. Phil quickly checked his phone to see that it was just past 3 in the morning before rushing down to catch his boyfriend. Phil rushed down the stairs to find Dan, hair ruffled and clothes crumpled down at the bottom of the steps near the front door struggling to stand let alone make it up the stairs.

“There are so many stairs!” Dan exclaimed in a slurred voice.

“Dan, where the hell have you been!?” Phil hissed down at him and Dan raised his head to meet Phil’s furious gaze. Seeming not to notice Phil’s apparent anger Dan’s face broke out into a cheerful grin.

“Oh, hey!” He said then narrowed his eyes slightly, “….who are you?” Phil let out a frustrated groan and made his way down towards the boy.

“For fuck’s sake,” Phil muttered, “I’m Phil. Remember? How drunk are you?”

“Phil? I know someone named Phil!” Dan said excitedly, “I live with him! But shhh, don’t tell him I’m drunk! He might get mad.”

“Oh, I’m way past mad,” Phil grumbled, “Now come on” Phil threw Dan’s arm over his shoulder to help him get up the stairs.

“This is fun!” Dan giggled and started to poke at Phil’s sides.

“Dan for christ’s sake stop it!” Phil groaned once he managed to drag him to the top of the staircase and started to lead him towards their bedroom.

“You’re so grumpy!” Dan slurred out, “Why are you so grumpy?”

“Why are you so annoying?” Phil snapped back at him and Dan let out a huff.

“Why do you have to be such a fun sucker?” Dan asked sounding quite like a small child, “You’re such a big grump! Grumpy grump fun sucker!”

“Oh, jesus christ” Phil cursed and rolled his eyes at the drunken brunette before pushing Dan through the doorway to their bedroom, “Now take off your clothes and go to bed, alright?”

“I don’t wanna go to bed!” Dan declared and crossed his arms over his chest, seeming more like a stubborn 6 year old who wasn’t getting his way than a 23 year old man, “I’m not tired! I want to have fun!”

“C’mon, Dan” Phil grumbled, “I’m fucking exhausted and you’re starting to give me a migraine. You’re going to sleep, end of discussion.”

“Meanie!” Dan stuck his tongue out at Phil and Phil let out a quiet, yet very discontented groan before reaching out to undo the top buttons of Dan’s shirt himself but before Phil could get the first one undone Dan slapped Phil’s hand away and jumped back onto the bed.

“You can’t do that!” Dan yelped, “I have a boyfriend!”

“Dan, for christ’s sake I am your boyfriend, now will you please-” Phil started to reach out again.

“No, Phil wouldn’t like that!” Dan proclaimed, “No one else can touch me, only him!”

“Dan, please will you just let me-”

“No! It’s not fair to Phil!” Dan said hysterically, “I can’t do that to him!” Phil cracked a small smile and sighed, defeated. He had to admit that was pretty cute and hearing Dan defend him like that made his heart warm.

“Alright, alright” Phil told him, holding his hands up in surrender, “I won’t undress you, okay? But will you please do it yourself so we can go to bed?” Dan watched him for a few moments while he pondered this idea.

“Okay,” He said finally, “But you have to turn around.”

“Fine” Phil mumbled and turned away towards the door while he let Dan change, “So you must really love Phil a lot, huh?”

“Yeah” Dan responded with a genuine tenderness in his tone, “I love him sooooo much. He’s always so sweet to me and nice and cute. He always smells like coffee beans and flowers and he has a really, really nice butt.” Phil laughed.

“Really? Is that all?” Phil asked.

“No!” Dan said with a giggle, “He’s so strong and his hugs remind me of sunshine and puppies. And y’know he always takes care of me and gives me kisses and shit- and oh! Have you seen his cock? It’s humongous! When I saw it for the first time I didn’t even think it would fit-”

“Oh my god, Dan” Phil laughed and hid his reddening cheeks within his hands.

“Okay! You can turn around now!” Dan announced and Phil turned around to see Dan dressed in a pair of his pajama pants and a t-shirt which was quite odd as they mostly just slept in their underwear most nights but then he remembered that Dan was too far gone to remember who he was, he was slightly impressed however that Dan was coherent enough to be able to dress himself. Phil just shook his head lovingly before changing himself and climbed in next to Dan in bed. Phil was about to reach out to grab Dan so he could cuddle him but Dan pushed him away once again.

“No!” Dan snapped, holding out the ‘o’, “I have a boyfriend, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry I forgot.” Phil responded tiredly before turning to lie down, he was so exhausted and couldn’t wait to get to sleep.

“You look so much like him!” Dan continued, “Your eyes are almost the exact same color! Phil’s eyes are so pretty…they’re like big giant swimming pools. And his hair is always so soft…and he makes the perfect pillow, he’s always so warm.”

“Dan, as much as I love listening to your drunken rambles about how great I am I would really like to get some sleep.” Phil mumbled tiredly.

“Do you think Phil will be mad at me?” Dan asked him worriedly, “I didn’t mean to drink so much! He always gets so mad at me when I get drunk!” Phil sighed.

“No, he won’t be mad.”

“How do you know??” Dan demanded.

“He told me himself,” Phil said, “He also wanted me to let you know how much he loves you and what a great boyfriend you are.”

“Really?” Dan asked with a huge smile plastered across his face.

“Yeah,” Phil said, “But you know what else he wanted me to tell you?”

“What?”

“Go to sleep.” Phil muttered.

“Okay, fine” Dan shuffled down into the covers and settled against his pillow, “You have to promise not to tell Phil anything I said though! It has to be a secret!”

“I promise I won’t say a thing” Phil muttered, “Cross my heart, I won’t tell Phil. Now goodnight, Dan.”

“Goodnight.” Dan whispered softly before starting to drift off to sleep and Phil lifted his head once more to stare at his peaceful boyfriend, fully aware that tomorrow morning he would most likely have a hangover and Phil would be left to take care of him, but for now he was completely content. He turned back around and settled into his pillow falling into a deep, dreamless sleep with a small smile draped across his lips.


End file.
